School bullying in Japan - Ijime

Bullying in Japan is a problem, it is a real problem. School bullying, called ijime in Japanese, affects many people, and has terrible consequences, such social ostracism, social and mental disorders, and eventually even suicidal tendencies.

Let me start by explaining a little story to illustrate this subject. Very recently in time, I was with my girlfriend in a train, after a day doing sightseeing in Kyoto. Right in front of us there were four Japanese teenagers, dressing the standard school uniform, joking aloud, having fun, well, pretty normal from the outside. At some stage, one of the students stand up, waved goodbye and left. One second after the doors of the wagon closed, two of the teenagers got serious and commanded the third student to sit a bit far away from them. And then it all started, all kind of silly comments, bad mouthing, nasty personal comments, aggressive behaviour… the third student simply kept sitting on his place, with a red flushed face mixed with anger and shame, and noiseless shed some tears… but didn’t move at all. We were of course very surprised and didn’t have time to react (we arrived to our destination), however, we decided if we ever witnessed anything like that, we would try to, at least, sit in between the bullies and the bullied (we are foreigners, and we can always play this card).

This experience illustrates three facts about the bullying in Japan, which can arguably be a bit different from the bullying in western countries (in my little experience)

• You never really know who the bullies are (in my primary and high school you could tell right away who were the ones teasing around). Even the well-mannered guys become complete beasts in here.
• The intensity of the bullying is intense. We are not talking about a fight, or just some comments… but a continuous and quite mean high intense mental bullying.
• The bullied, due to socio-cultural reasons, normally chooses to swallow down everything. No confrontation, no reaction, no rejection… they just swallow don’t the abuse (I would say the same kind of bullying when I was kid would led to either the guy leaving the place, or a charles-chaplin-like fist fight that would last for 3 seconds). No, here they swallow it down.

One could say that bullying is almost institutionalized in Japan, mainly due to the little effort from the teachers to detect and stop it (or even lack of will to do so…).

So, how does this affect you?

Well, I think you have to worry about ijime / bullying if you have kids. And let me define kids : boys and girls that are been raised here (do not worry if you are sending your teenager son or daughter for a year in a Japanese high school , that situation is different, and from what I have seen first hand after meeting some people in such programs, a very rewarding experience).

I met here a chilean guy with background in education science and a son with her Japanese wife, than indicated me that the best way to avoid such situations is directly placing your kids in international schools, were the exposure to many cultures, people, races, etc and the (presumably) international experience of the teachers will drastically reduce the chances that your kids will suffer from bullying. And don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean that Japanese schools are the only focus… but… well… you know… the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and if you don’t want an apple falling on your head…

There are many international schools (from kindergarten to high school) in mayor Japanese cities. Find some lists in these links

http://www.tokyowithkids.com/fyi/international_schools.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_schools_in_Japan

http://www.dmoz.org/Reference/Education/International/International_Schools/Asia/Japan/

OK OK, I don’t mean to scare anyone. But this is a serious issue in Japan, and it happens (unfortunately) very often. My advise here is: carefully consider if you want your kid being raised in a Japanese school (it has pros as well), have a close relation with the teachers (you can monitor your kid’s behaviour and detect changes in his behaviour), and do not let them (kids) become too Japanese when it comes to social interactions.

This is a tricky issue, and I am telling you, a reason for leaving if it happens to you (your kid).

ps. My intention with this post is not to analyze the reasons, nor to give a solution... simply point out that the problem exist, and that you should be aware if you have kids of your own.